Hazvizi bhoo!

Baboon detained in police cells

From Mwakazvida Chaonwa, Chipinge Correspondent

THERE was drama at Nyanyadzi Police Station recently, when police were left with no option, but to detain a man together with his baboon pet, after the animal had caused pandemonium at the police station.

Chipinge District police spokesman, Assistant Inspector Takaidzwa Chitombi, confirmed the incident and said Moses Dube was arrested and detained together with his baboon, which he nurtured and moved around with.

He said Dube was arrested at Nyanyadzi Business Centre for contravening Section 46 of the Criminal Law (Codification and Reform) Act (being excessively drunk).

"He was with his baboon, named Jimmy, when he was arrested. The baboon followed him to the police station. He was locked in the police holding cells and the baboon was left outside. The police thought that it would go away, but to their surprise, the baboon caused pandemonium, making irritating noise wanting to be re-united with its master.

"Police had no option, but to detain Dube and his baboon. Soon after the two were re-united, the baboon stopped making noise," he said.

Ass Insp Chitombi said when Dube was asked how he had tamed the baboon, he said the baboon came to his home when it was still young, probably after it lost its mother.
He said: "Dube said he took care of it and has been staying with the baboon for one-year-and-two months. He even said the two were now inseparable."

Ass Insp Chitombi said Dube was asked to pay a fine and was released. He said they were still to contact the Department of Wildlife and National Parks on the way forward regarding Dube and Jimmy.

The Manica Post Online - Friday, March 21, 2008

Wedding talk in Zimbabwe

Not all Zimbabweans attend weddings for the fun and pleasure of just attending, the booze or the food. Others actually attend to carry out uncommissioned researches.
Below is the result of research one Zimbabwean has carried out about local weddings. These are snippets of what guests - both invited and self-invited - say at weddings:
* Muchato wacho unenge wenzara nzara.
* Iye angachate atove nenhumbu?
* Murume wacho anenge mudhara uyu.
* Akambobvisa nhumbu yaPastor iyeyu.
* Murume wacho anenge ari kurwara uyu
* Kufira mugota zviri nani
* Nhai mune chamambodyawo?
* Mbuya yabatira mwana apa
* Ndinobvisa chipo kuti ndambodya chinhu?
* Kakeke kacho kanenge kekwa-TM.
* Keke racho ranga richiita kunge chikodzamvana.
* Hazvisi zvikwereti izvi?
* Titoreiwo camera.
* Pambotengwa makireti manganiko?
* Ndo hairstyle rudzii yakaitwa apo nhai?
* Kamota kacho kevachati!
* Vaperekedzi kutodada ungati ndivo vachata.
* Waona mutambiro wanga uchiita Ranziroti!
* Sekuru vacho kubva vabvisa huku chaiyo nhai.
* Wabvisa marii? Hundred yangu yaenda ichichema.
* Ndikweretesewo mari yechipo ndozokupa.
* Ndiyo chembere yakazoroorwa na-George uyo?
* Pashaya amuudza kuti zvaakapfeka hazvisi kuita here?
* Hanzi aimbodanana nouyu wekufa uyu?
* Anomboshanda kupiko?
* Ko vanga vadii kutengera mai vemurume hembe iri nani?
* Food iri bho yese inenge irikungoenda ku-high table.
* Ko akwaretesa sekuru Shepherd bhutsu ndiyani?
* Hona ziso kubuda! Asvika pa-peak manje.
* Mukadzi wacho akawanza makeup.
* Vakawanza ma-speech tinodzokera nezvipo.
* Hona kutanga kufeeder hama dzavo first.
* Boys, I think beer rapera; ngatishayike.
* Varikunyepa kuti beer rapera; ndaudzwa kuti rakazara mudeep-freezer.
* Mota yeku-hire! Dai iri yavo better!
* Zvovoramba vachingoridza Mutukudzi asingatambike.
* Asi mu-war vet?
* Baba vacho vabvisa mariiko?
* Kuvhaira nemota dzebasa.
* Hona tutsapfu utwo.
* Kuita man'a obuda nemubhutsu!
* Fesi yacho mapundu.
* Haisi hembe ye-friend yake yaakwereta iyi?
* Ko ka-junk ndekapi ako?
* Nzara yega-yega.
* Ndewe MDC.
* Kutambura ndinokuziva ini!
* Hauzive kuti akafirwa nemwana last year here?
* Vakadzingwa pavairoja.