Monday, April 19, 2021

Hardwork Munowenyu - aka Comrade John Ganya

This man, affectionately known simply as Ganya was a fearless fighter for the freedom of Zimbabwe. He gave all he had for Zimbabwe. All.

He referred to himself as 'The Dynamic Terrorist - Comrade John Ganya'.

As a young man of about 20 years old after 5 brutal years in the bush, he emerged in 1980, for the most part physically unscathed, but bearing the emotional traumas characteristic of all who went through what he did; experiences he did not want to recount too often.

Forever loved and cherished. RIP.

Monday, February 06, 2012

So much for chickens!!


A Harare woman Alice Gumbe has been arrested for feeding her chickens with the life prolonging drug commonly known as ARVs.

In a stunning confession, the woman said she would grind the popurlar pills and dissolve it in water which the chickens will drink on.

The chickens are extra- ordinarily big with some reportedly weighing almost 10Kgs (22 lbs).

The woman was arrested after the police was tipped off by anonymus member of the public.

Meanwhile, the police have urged members of the public not to buy meat from unscrupulous business people!!!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Bulawayo man is Mr Ugly 2011


A BULAWAYO man upstaged nine others to win the Mr Ugly title at a weekend pageant.

Thirty-year-old Austin Mbewe won R1,200 and a blanket at the contest held last Saturday in the border town of Beitbridge.
"I feel honoured by this victory," Mbewe told the Herald newspaper after winning the title.

"I have been a subject of ridicule from society since childhood and the world has seen that there is a beautiful side to my ugliness."

The Herald said Mbewe was “undoubtedly the deserving winner”.

Organiser Lovemore Chonzi said: "Basically, the competition is meant for people to have fun and celebrate who they are, just like any other contest in the world."

The competition, which is in its third year, has the blessing of the National Arts Council and the Zimbabwe Tourism Authority.

Fifteen men had been originally scheduled to participate, but six “developed cold feet at the eleventh hour”, Chonzi said.

The winner was chosen by a panel of female judges.

Two runners-up -- Kudakwashe Chiramba, 45, of Beitbridge and Chitova Chezhira, 39, of Masvingo -- won 600 rand and 500 rand respectively, and a blanket each.

A similar competition is being planned for the capital Harare on Monday.

'Magic penis' prophet arrested

Disclaimer: I am not sure of the exact source of this story but trust me, strange things happen in Zimbabwe all the time!


A Bulawayo's Nkulumane suburb prophet claims that he gets healing powers from his penis. The Prophet, Blessed Mvura's magic stick healing prowess has been going for the past few years and claims to have healed hundreds of desperate women of different illnesses.

Mvura's powers were temporarily brought to a grinding halt recently after a woman whom he had administered an ointment through sex started developing pimples on her private parts. Her husband accused her of promiscuity but the woman divulged the source of her illness and pointed the finger at the Prophet.

Questioned by the woman's husband, the prophet maintained his innocence and told the man that he had prior to the healing procedures told the woman about his unorthodox method and she consented. After escaping unscathed, Mvura went on with his errands. For the past few months, Mvura has taken his act to the border town of Beitbridge where hordes of women were also HEALED.

He returned to Bulawayo on Monday last week and found police officers waiting for him in connection with a rape case. he was subsequently arrested. Mvura appeared before Western Commonage magistrate, Richard Ramaboea. The self professed penis prophet shocked the gallery after claiming that he wanted to heal the woman. Mvura went on to claim that he only heals women.

"I only use my organ when treating people. I rub it with a specific medicine for that particular disease and insert my penis into the woman's privates," he said.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Runyoka sex boy: Snake eating my privates

28/06/2010 00:00:00
by Lindie Whiz
http://www.newzimbabwe.com/news-2736-Runyoka+sex+boy+Snake+eats+privates/news.aspx

A BULAWAYO family has made a desperate plea for help after a 16-year-old boy claimed a SNAKE was entering his body through the foot and EATING his privates following sex with a married woman believed to be “locked” – a witchcraft practice common in parts of Zimbabwe.

The teenager from the Paddonhurst suburb told the Bulawayo Chronicle he met the woman – named as Sharon Manjoro -- at Bell Mine in Amaveni, Kwekwe.

The boy claims the woman -- believed to have a spell known as ulunyoka/runyoka cast on her by her husband to stop her from being intimate with other men -- paid him US$10 to have sex with her.

He tearfully told the Chronicle: “After we were intimate, the woman left Kwekwe and I believe she went to her husband in Gweru. Since then, I have not seen her.

“Soon after I was intimate with her, I felt some itching on my private parts and three days later, a strange snake emerged from nowhere and entered my body through my foot.

“When it reaches my private parts, it starts eating me and the pain I experience during that process is terrible.”

A man identified as the boy’s guardian said: “It is very terrible. The snake appears once everyday and can be seen as it moves in his leg until it reaches his private parts.

“When it reaches that area, it appears to be eating him and the boy starts crying out for help for about 30 minutes.”

The boy’s family say they were turned away by a hospital, and consultations with inyangas have failed to solve the mystery.

In a direct plea to the woman’s husband, the boy’s guardian said: “We are prepared to pay anything to Sharon’s husband because the boy’s life is in danger and we cannot afford to lose him.

“I am appealing to anyone who can treat this kind of ailment to come and help us. They may come to number 19 Dillon Road, Paddonhurst, in Bulawayo or call me on +263712745818 or +263712739879.

“We are desperately confused and asking anyone who can help us in this matter to come forward and help the boy.”

The Zimbabwe National Traditional Healers’ Association's Benson Kaseke said that although runyoka/ulunyoka is not approved by traditional healers, it is widespread in parts of Mashonaland.

Runyoka/ulunyoka is typically used by people who suspect their spouses of playing away from home, he explained. “No one wants to live with an unfaithful partner, hence the need for runyoka.”

One of the most common methods of administering runyoka/ulunyoka is to secretly spike a partner’s food, but there are more blatant methods. One in particular is known in Shona as “rwebanga,” or knife. A husband buys a new knife, sprinkles it with some traditional herbs, puts the open knife at the doorstep of his bedroom and then summons his wife into the room. The wife walks in and strides over the open knife and thereafter the husband asks her to pick it up and snap it shut before handing it back to him.

The husband then hides the knife in a place where it is unlikely to be found by anyone else. This is supposed to prevent the wife from indulging in extramarital sex. But if she does dare to have an affair, the adulterous pair risk the humiliation of being caught in the act by the husband, as they supposedly would be unable to uncouple themselves because of the power of the magic charm. “They can only be freed when the husband opens the knife,” says Kaseke.

Married women of the Tavara tribe, in the Mukumbura area of Mount Darwin, who have been enchanted in this way do not shake hands with men they are introduced to, for fear that the medicine would affect them. If a man does shake an enchanted woman’s hand, he is said to feel numb and weak and only regains his strength after the hand is withdrawn.

Kaseke says in some cases daughters are given runyoka by their parents so they cannot engage in premarital sex. To undo the enchantment, the girl is requested to take her boyfriend to her parents’ home where he is given the same medicine so he is not affected by it when they have sex.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Meet Zimbabwe's ugliest man

by Lindie Whiz
http://www.newzimbabwe.com/showbiz-2079-Meet+Zimbabwes+ugliest+man/showbiz.aspx

ELMAS Moses beams after being voted Zimbabwe’s UGLIEST man.
You would think that’s a turn-off for women. But the 43-year-old dad of ten is happily married to two women.
Winning smile ... Mr Ugly 2010 Elmas Moses


Moses, a traditional healer from Mberengwa, won Mr Ugly 2010 in Beitbridge last week Saturday – beating a strong field of 35 other men also convinced they were offensive to the sight.

After claiming his crown in the pageant supported by the Zimbabwe Tourism Authority, Moses had a terrifying message for the beauty police: “If you think I’m ugly, wait until you see my four brothers.

“It’s a pity they couldn’t get here on time.”
Moses, who was the first runner-up last year to eventual winner, Peter Chikomakoma, added: “"I was disappointed when I came second last year, but this time I worked hard on my weaknesses.”

James James came second in the pageant, with Hilary Maunga third.
For his ugliness, Moses walked away with the first prize of R1,500 while his two runners up pocketed R750 and R500 respectively.

The pageant is the brainchild of Dominic Gwatirisa.
“Pageants are generally centred on women ... we want to shift that mindset and have fun with men from across the country,” Gwatisira said.

Next year regional finals are planned to cast the net wider for Zimbabwean men who are contrary to beauty.

Tough on the eye ... Mr Ugly 2010 Elmas Moses (centre) with runners-up James James (left) and Hilary Maunga (right)


Contrary to beauty ... Peter Chikomakoma won Mr Ugly pageant last year

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Meet child mystery lesbian couple

By Lindie Whiz, www.newzimbabwe.com, Nov 5, 2009


A LESBIAN who claimed to have been impregnated by another woman has given birth to a child with a tooth, disparate arms and a crooked leg, reports said.

Fungai Manhiko, 21, has named her child, a boy, Fanwell Dube – the surname of her lesbian partner, Elnett.

Manhiko made headline news in Bulawayo when she claimed two months ago that she was expecting Dube’s baby.

The couple claimed that Dube grows a male sexual organ when they are together between the sheets, but which disappears after being intimate.

And Dube claims to have no recollection of her sex trysts with Manhiko “as she would be in a trance” which she believes “is a result of mystical powers that bedevil her family”, the Sunday News reported.

Fiercely conservative residents of Bulawayo’s Sizinda suburb – where Manhiko lived until her flight to her rural Masvingo last week – have been gripped by the couple’s bizarre story.

Two weeks ago, Manhiko delivered a healthy baby boy but was stunned to discover the tot had a single tooth, uneven arms and a warped leg.

A local inyanga (traditional healer), Thulani Sibanda, told the Sunday News: “It is possible the ancestors gave the couple the baby to punish them for violating the rules of nature.

“It is taboo for women to sleep together … I can assure you that that tooth is just the beginning of their problems.”

A newly-born baby with a tooth is a rare phenomenon. The tooth usually falls out days after birth, as happened to the lesbian couple’s child.

Medical experts have dismissed Manhiko’s claims that Dube could be the “father” of her child as nonsense.

And challenged by the Sunday News to take a DNA test, Manhiko stormed: “Why should we go for a DNA test? When your parents gave birth to you, did they go for tests? Obviously they did not because your father knew without doubt that you were his seed.

“It’s the same with Elnett, she knows that the baby is hers, in fact, the baby looks like her, he has her eyes and nose. If Elnett and her relatives want a DNA, they are welcome but they will be disappointed with the results.”

The two women are both unemployed, and Manhiko said she feared for the child’s well-being.

“I have no access to good food. A breast-feeding mother needs to eat well, without enough food there is trouble. It’s not healthy for me and the baby. I am not concerned about myself but the baby. He might grow up succumbing to diseases as a result of the impoverished state I am in,” she said, just hours before leaving Bulawayo for rural Masvingo.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Men locked donkeys in hut for 20 days

By Lindie Whiz, www.newzimbabwe.com, 10/16/2009


POLICE have arrested a man and are looking for another after two donkeys were stolen and locked up in a HUT for 20 days.

Sifelani Mnkandla, 19, appeared before a Tsholotsho magistrate on Wednesday charged with stock theft. His alleged accomplice, Skiri Ndlovu, is on the run.

The two men may yet learn that the law is not an ASS. If convicted, they could be jailed for between nine and 25 years under Zimbabwe's harsh anti-stock theft laws.

Prosecuting, Joshua Muguti told Tsholotsho magistrate Toendepi Zhou that on September 10 this year, Finish Ndlovu’s two male donkeys worth US$400 were grazing in the Manyenge area of Sipepa – some 130km north-west of Bulawayo.

Mkandla, in the company of Skiri Ndlovu, the prosecutor alleged, rounded up the donkeys and herded them to Skiri’s homestead where they penned them in one of the huts.

The donkeys stayed locked in the hut, without water and food, until October 1 when a member of the local Neighbourhood Watch Committee was alerted.

Enot Nkungu Ndlovu freed the donkeys and managed to apprehend Mnkandla, but Skiri escaped.